Thursday, November 4, 2010

Trying not to get depressed

So I'm trying really hard to not get depressed. I've been blaming my "monthly visitor" but it's been two weeks now. I can pretty much pin point what it is that makes me depressed. Having gone through a bout of depression several years ago, I have learned to identify when it's happening and I can pretty much snap myself out of it. But it's been lingering this time. Can't seem to shake it. Back in the day, I was depressed because I thought I was fat. Silly.....no, stupid, I know, but I couldn't get myself out of the funk. Now, it's a little of that again, but mostly, I'm overwhelmed. Now, I know that there are women with TONS more on their plate and they seem to handle it graciously. Me? I sit on the edge of my bed and cry. That's how I handle stress. But before it gets bad....I'm going to do something about it!

I started working out this morning. Yay. I'm going to do Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred for 15 days. Then I will do the P90X for approximately 60 days. Can't commit for the whole time. I need to enjoy Christmas. I also went to Walmart and bought a new workout outfit. I didn't need to because I have purchased several outfits before. But with each new one, I think "Oh yeah......THIS is the outfit I need. THIS will make me exercise. I mean....look how cute and FIT it looks." Yeah I still just wear my black sweats and old Youth Conference T-Shirt.
I will be following the diabetic diet to help my daughter and my family. We will ALL eat the diet a lot more strictly! I will also commit to set time aside organizing my crazy house. One area a week. I'll take my time, but I'll be quick about it! I truly believe that the condition of your home can set your own mood and your family's mood. So....why haven't done it yet? I don't know. Tons of stuff to do. What stuff? Stuff! OK! Stuff!

In case you're wondering.....I'm sitting at the edge of my bed typing this.

4 comments:

  1. Dangit go ahead and cry!! A good cry just might help! And I totally agree that the condition of your home affects your attitude. A good cleaning can make all the difference. About a month ago I was kinda feeling the same way as you {I think we all go through it, just in different ways at different times, over different things} and I had Dean give me a blessing. It seemed like a silly thing to ask for since I wasn't sick or dying, but it made a huge difference. Not only did Dean seem to be more supportive/understanding of the situation but spiritually I felt better. I wasn't instantly "healed" and I wasn't suddenly the happiest person on the planet but I could feel the difference!....Oh and let me know how Jillian treats you, all those endorphins should boost your mood! {I might just give it shot!} If not, we will just have to have a girls night..while wearing our new workout outfits!

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  2. I sit on the edge of my bed and cry all the time and to go along with what Linsey said, I ask for priesthood blessings quite often. Sometimes I feel like that is the only reason I survive.

    I have that wonderfully fun workout of Jillian's too. If I were a better friend I would join you but I just hate that stupid thing. The things she thinks a body can do!

    I love you Edna and I appreciate and admire your honesty. When you are ready to go get some ice cream just let me know and Linsey can come and we'll wear work out outfits. :)

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  3. I wanna wear my workout outfit and ear ice cream too!!! With oreos. Love you taded!

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  4. Edna, you're so awesome.
    When I come down next week we'll all wear our workout clothes and sit on the edge of your bed and cry. Then we'll get up to organize the closet in your office. And then after we take everything out we'll just put it back in and go back to your room and sit on your bed and cry again. I love you!!

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