HAHAHA!

Update

So my last "THIS IS IT!" post was in June. Wanna know what's happened since then? A whole lot of working out with a whole lotta nothing to show for it. Very frustrating. I have been for 4 weeks now working out pretty religiously TWICE a day....and nothing. The first three weeks I was doing the 30 day shred in the morning and then going to the gym every night with Sabra and doing the elliptical for 30 minutes and then walking a mile on the treadmill. This week I started the P90X in the morning and doing cardio at the gym at night. So....from not doing ANYTHING to doing this.....nothing? Not one pound even? But I can't quit. Because then in about a month I'll write another post about how "THIS IS IT....for reals!" This is still it....and although I'm frustrated and depressed (and it has NOTHING to do with the fact that my monthly visitor is just around the corner), I'm going to keep going. I truly believe that slow and steady will win the race. So even though I'm hearing about people losing weight left and right....I'm gonna keep going. I just keep thinking "This is what skinny people do." Stupid, I know, but it's been keeping me from just giving up all together.

On a happier note. PINTEREST!!!! Are you on yet? Need an invite? It's awesome. Follow me!

Outfit of the week

I think these shoes are cute. B.O.C. by born at DSW for $59.95. Now remember....I live in Yuma and I'm 32 years old with achy feet. I think I could wear these with lots of outfits.

But they'll go very cute with this dress....

I love this dress. It's from Old Navy for $39.94. Perfect for going out on a date. (d,m, fro yo!)

This dress could go with a lot of different shoes as well. Red, Green, White (love white shoes.)

Yay or Nay?

When I finally decided to change my life.....

Seems a little dramatic, but I think I've hit the breaking point. I'm going to be journaling on this blog my weight loss journey. Something has to happen and it has to start today....well it started yesterday but I forgot to blog about it.
Goal: Lose 55- 65 (gulp) pounds. Being 5' 1/2", I'm considered petite and the "healthy range is between 105 lbs - 125 lbs.....so in that range would be good.
Who: Me.
What: Lose weight.
When: NOW! and keep this lifestyle forever!
Why: Because. I'm done. I think it's affecting EVERY other part of my life. I never thought I would be this unhappy with myself and it's time to change. I have a diabetic daughter and we ALL have to eat better for her sake too. I don't want have her disease out of control because I was too busy to change. It is up to my husband and I to help her. We buy her food....not her.
How: Right now I'm doing it with a quick round of Hcg, but once I have quickstarted my weight loss and I'm doing it the good old fashioned way of eating less, excersise more.


Starting weight: 1G0.5 (hahaha! I wasn't about to put my real weight!.....maybe when I'm done)
Goal Weight: 1A5
Size Goals: 10 sizes

I'll post before and after pictures when I have an after pic to put up!

I'll post my weight once a week. Ok....everyone knows now......keep me motivated please!!!!

Deal or No Deal?

This is my new car. A 2011 Special Edition Honda Accord. Why is it Special? I don't know, but it's really purrty. I have never once gone to a dealership and purchased a vehicle. We have always bought our cars thru private party ads. So this was a pretty entertaining and hilarious experience.

It was very much like the game show "Deal or No Deal." We went in to look at a Honda Crosstour. It's an Accord Station Wagon basically. I really like Station Wagons. They had one that was VERY decked out. Had every bell and whistle and so it cost $35,000. Wowers! We did take it for a test drive and loved it. So we went in to the office to began the Game!

We chose our briefcase - the price we were willing to pay. The guy goes into an office that's very similar to the game show where they show the banker sitting. Tinted windows, but you can still kind of see in. He comes out with the first offer. They opened the first the briefcase - "you can have this fabulous Crosstour for.....$699/month!......Deal or No Deal!" Uh....No Deal. Are you kidding me? That's crazy. So we tell them that's no where close to what we can afford. He goes back to the "Banker." He comes back out. How about $500/month? No Deal. So then....The Closer comes in. I just sat back and laughed at this whole process. It was so funny! We tell the closer that we probably won't be able to afford the Crosstour, but what else do you have? I told him that I do love Accords. We had one growing up and my twin sister has one too.....love them.

Closer says "Yes! I'll bring one right out." He brings one out that was beautiful. Dark Gray. Black Leather Seats. Very nice. We start making deals with this one.

They go to the Banker.....Banker offers a deal......it's getting a lot better....but No Deal! They go back to the Banker.....an even better deal......We said "Give us tinted windows and it's a Deal" They go back to the Banker......we see him thinking about it.....kind of.....how do you see a faceless man's face? But we could tell....just like on the show. The Closer comes out with a $3 more a month payment to include tint....and we said "Deal!" and....we never saw the Banker's face.

We are then introduced to a 4th man who takes care of all the paperwork.

Folks.....4 people to sell a car. Crazy. The salesman, the closer, the banker, and the paper guy. Really? No wonder the car business was going bankrupt! 2 middle men!

So....I love my car. It has 4 doors, A/C, no rattle, all windows roll up without my help, and a big trunk. It's a dream. :)

Selling the Dream

So....I'm selling the dream. Not really my dream anymore anyway. The Beetle. I told my sister the other day...."That's it. I'm growing out my bangs and selling the beetle......I don't want to be 15 anymore!!! I'm about to be 32 dang-it!!!! I have achy joints and need comfort!" So here's to growing up.....a car payment. Yuck. But necessary.

My perfect day

Is there such a thing?? Not sure. But when I imagine my perfect day, this is what I imagine:

6am. Wake up and work out. I need to lose weight. I'm about to turn 32 and I remember telling my hubby when I was about to turn 30 that I wasn't going to live my thirties fat. I know I have to make time but I truly can't.
7:30am. Get my girls ready for school. Bathed. Good breakfast. Morning spiritual thought. And off to school.
9 am. Get myself ready for the day.
10:30. Errands/chores/help Chris at work.
12pm. Lunch./ clean up.
1pm. Time for my hobby/hobbies. I want so bad to have time for sewing and being creative. I miss it terribly.
3-5 pm. Teach/prepare for music lessons. I love teaching and I would really like to be able to devote more time in being able to teach my students better.
5-6 pm. Prepare dinner. As it is we maybe have one home cooked meal a week......maybe. Sad.
6-7:30 pm. Family time such as FHE, kids' activities, etc. Friday night is date night for Chris and I ......D,m,fro yo!!!
7:30-8:15 pm. Bedtime/teeth brushed/hair brushed/read scriptures.
8:15-8:30 pm. Bedtime routine for me.
8:30-8:45 pm. Read scriptures.
8:45 -10:00pm. Watch my favorites shows.
10:00pm. Go to sleep and wait for another perfect day.

Just Dance ok?

I have to come to realize something......or may have come to realize something......and all because of Just Dance 2.
Yup, Just Dance 2, the game.

I Can't Dance.

The sad thing is that.....I thought I could. Now because of this, I have now begun to doubt myself in other areas. Let me explain.

The girls and I went to Phoenix to visit my SIL and niece. My SIL requested I bring up Just Dance 2 because we had a blast playing it the last time they were down. It is a fun game ( I highly recommend "Rasputin".....what a workout!!! {coming from the girl who doesn't workout}) SO.....we start playing it one night and I could not win. The same thing happened when I played with my sisters in California. It always seemed to happen when I was using a controller that wasn't player ONE. So I blamed it on the Wii. Thought that maybe it just doesn't register the movements from other controllers as well as the First one. So after being schooled over and over and I asked my SIL if we could switch and do the song one more time because I wanted to test my theory. We did.....and I lost.....miserably....again. I was shocked.......and humbled. I can feel myself moving and I felt like I was doing to moves just right......in perfect timing. At the time.....we laughed and laughed, but I have been very bothered by this since then. Stupid I know.
But all I could think is that.....
"This is how it is. This is how people feel when they think they sing really good, but they really don't......like on American Idol auditions."
We watch these poor people go on the show who sing horribly, but they are SO SURE that they are the best singers in America. And I always think....."why doesn't someone tell them that they really can't sing before they go and humiliate themselves?" So this it. This is how it is.....I thought I was a really good dancer......but I'm not! So what does that mean about everything else? Maybe I can't sing? Maybe my great ideas...aren't? Pretty sad that a video game has made me second guess myself. I have pretty much gotten over it though.....besides why do I need to be a good dancer on a video game? Still.....I think life was a little sweeter prior to Just Dance 2.

Quick Update on the Dream Car

I'm pretty sure my dream is going to make the year mark. I was a little unsure for awhile, but it's quickly approaching the one year mark. Since the last time I wrote, my A/C has quit working. It was determined by a friend mechanic genius that's it's an electrical problem rather than the compressor, which is good news. SOOOO now that my A/C doesn't work....guess what? My window rolls up now about 95% of the time without assistance!! We definitely need to get the A/C fixed before it gets too warm though. It was getting cooler outside right when it broke but 85 degree weather is too hot for no A/C for me!
Any guesses on how long it'll be with the dream car??? I don't see any light at the end of this tunnel.....guess I'll be feeling young a little longer. :)

Goals of the Year

I really was going to not make any resolutions this year. It's just depressing when you're having to make and re-make the same ones every year. I've almost basically resolved to just realizing that it's never going to be the way I want it to be. Why? Who knows. No, I know.....cause I don't wanna. At least I don't wanna....enough. I don't want it enough maybe. But it's all I want too. Ugh.

So I'm dedicating my blog this year to my resolutions......or intentions. A weekly update. That in its self is an intention.

Intent #1: Order. My home, My family, My home/family schedule
Intent #2: ME.
Intent #3: Family Pictures. We have not a single one. I don't wanna.

I'm already trying to complete my daily schedule so that I can try to have some sort of order in life, but as I'm trying to do it.....it seems hopeless. Man, what a way to start the year.

Goals of the week

My favorite thing to do is to write lists. And you think with my list making I would get lots of things done and be super organized, but I don't and am not. So to try new things my list will be on my blog and I want you to keep bothering me seeing if I've accomplished my list.

Things to do

-Meet with the best business partner in the world! And make list of things to do for treehouse- DONE!
-sit down and finish RS stuff for Saturday DONE!
- make signs
- nail down performances - DONE!
-meet with sister Nelson! -DONE!
- clean fabric closet to find fabric for service project
- help mom to prepare for bag party on saturday
- sew some petal pillows
- order carrot cake from kneaders for thanksgiving Called...told me to call next wednesday
- oh and exercise everyday. Did Jillian Michaels this morning!
-make curtains or give back to sabra



With Christmas getting closer and closer, this list is going to just get crazier and longer. Come on friends, keep me on task!


How could I forget? Add watch Harry Potter and the deathly hallows.

My Food Critique

I am a huge fried pickle fan. So just for your information, I'm going to let you know my faves.

1st Place: Brewers. Why? cause the pickles they use are zesty pickles. They are cut long ways, which isn't my favorite, but they taste the best and they aren't too greasy.

2nd place: Buffalo Wild Wings. They are cut like pictured above and very good.

3rd Place: The Crossing. Also cut long way, but they use regular dill pickles.

Honorable Mention: Burgers N Beer. Not bad....not great.

Worst: Texas Roadhouse. Almost got ill after eating them. SOOOO GREASY and SALTY. Gross.

Stick to the goodies. Brewers, Buffalo Wild Wings, and The Crossing. Hey....does Famous Daves have them? They have the Best pickles.....imagine them fried....yum.

Trying not to get depressed

So I'm trying really hard to not get depressed. I've been blaming my "monthly visitor" but it's been two weeks now. I can pretty much pin point what it is that makes me depressed. Having gone through a bout of depression several years ago, I have learned to identify when it's happening and I can pretty much snap myself out of it. But it's been lingering this time. Can't seem to shake it. Back in the day, I was depressed because I thought I was fat. Silly.....no, stupid, I know, but I couldn't get myself out of the funk. Now, it's a little of that again, but mostly, I'm overwhelmed. Now, I know that there are women with TONS more on their plate and they seem to handle it graciously. Me? I sit on the edge of my bed and cry. That's how I handle stress. But before it gets bad....I'm going to do something about it!

I started working out this morning. Yay. I'm going to do Jillian Michaels 30-day Shred for 15 days. Then I will do the P90X for approximately 60 days. Can't commit for the whole time. I need to enjoy Christmas. I also went to Walmart and bought a new workout outfit. I didn't need to because I have purchased several outfits before. But with each new one, I think "Oh yeah......THIS is the outfit I need. THIS will make me exercise. I mean....look how cute and FIT it looks." Yeah I still just wear my black sweats and old Youth Conference T-Shirt.
I will be following the diabetic diet to help my daughter and my family. We will ALL eat the diet a lot more strictly! I will also commit to set time aside organizing my crazy house. One area a week. I'll take my time, but I'll be quick about it! I truly believe that the condition of your home can set your own mood and your family's mood. So....why haven't done it yet? I don't know. Tons of stuff to do. What stuff? Stuff! OK! Stuff!

In case you're wondering.....I'm sitting at the edge of my bed typing this.

The hit song "alone in my principles"

Anyone? Anyone? Can anyone tell me what movie that's from?


About 4 months I cancelled my Facebook account. Why? I do have a very specific reason why I did, but it won't be revealed now. Did I waste too much time on facebook? Not really. I would check it about 2 or 3 times a day. It was great to reconnect with friends I hadn't seen or heard from in years! In fact I became friends with my best friend from 5th grade. Would we be friends now?...... No way. But still it was cool. I think the biggest reason why I didn't want to be on facebook anymore was I couldn't take the vague posts that no one could really understand and you think you may know what they're talking about and you begin to suspect it's secretly about you but maybe not, so then you feel inclined to comment and then more vague responses follow......ugh exhausting! I personally would never post anything I wasn't comfortable knowing EVERYONE could see it, so the privacy thing never bothered me.

Now a couple times,......ok maybe more than a couple times,......I've logged on to my hubby's account to just looked around. And there have been a two times that i have reactivated my account for 10 seconds and then I deactivate it again. I get an overwhelming feeling of "wait! Everyone Knows I cancelled my account! What would they say if I get back on?!?!". So......to facebook.......or NOT to facebook. Just out of principle? Do I have any by hiding behind my hubby's account?

See......too exhausting.

My dream car(?)

Beetle Quilt.....how funny.
My Dream Car
My idea of a dream car has changed throughout the years but my one car, maybe two, have always been the beetle. I've always always wanted one. My other dream car is a jeep wrangler, which was mine and ericka's first vehicle. I usually do not stay content with my cars and I pretty much get a different car every couple years. I have owned a jeep, Honda accord, another jeep, Toyota pickup, yet another jeep, maxima, dodge grand caravan, ford f150, pacifica, chevy avalanche, and now a beetle. Now, most of these cars are vehicles chris and I have owned together. We never bought any of these cars brand new and usually only spend what we got out of the previous car. Anyway, I like to try new things.

So the beetle. I always said I would get a beetle after I had my two kids and when the youngest turned 4, i would get my dream car. So on her 4th birthday I put my car up for sale and it sold after a few weeks. The car I sold was a nice car.....definitely the fanciest car I had ever had....2005 Chrysler Pacifica. So when I sold it, my search began for my beetle. All I knew is that I didn't want a silver or royal blue one and that I would only spend minimal money (about $3500) on it, in case it was a bust. Everyone thought I was crazy for downsizing to a two door tiny car with two kids.....but I didn't care....ME FIRST!!!! totally selfish. Chris was completely supportive and to this day I do not know if he thought I was crazy for doing it either.

I began to search thru endless Craigslist listings in Yuma, Tucson, Phoenix, Las Vegas, and San Diego. I found several I wanted to look at in Phoenix, so we planned a trip for that weekend without the girls. That morning I took Ryan to school......she threw up as soon as I got her to school. Oh no. Should I go? Well, I did. She threw up two more times.....again...ME FIRST!!! Totally Selfish. Then as soon as we arrive to Phoenix to look at the first beetle, I get a call that one of my employees at work got hurt. Needed stitches. I couldn't concentrate anymore.....worried about Ryan, Reagan, Employee.... omen? We saw a few more beetles but we ended up buying the first beetle we saw. It's old...1999 with 100,000 miles on it but it was cheap and all beetles look the same after 1998. Yellow with black leather interior.

So my beetle......dreamy? maybe. When you see your dream car driving down the street, you think...."OH! It's so cute"!.....or "Man, that car looks cool." but guess what.....you can't see yourself driving in your dream car when you're inside of it. You can't think...."Oh! It's so cute!" or "Man, that car looks cool." I have come to realize that the Beetle is pretty much the bottom of the line of Volkswagen's. They are pretty crappy. Not too comfortable. Cup-holders are tiny. No bells. No whistles. But it is pretty roomy.....for a compact car. It's great in California parking spaces. My beetle also has a few flaws. Scratches.....that the previous owner covered with Tinkerbell Stickers, so we didn't see it until AFTER we bought it. The "Rattle"......catalytic converter is.....loose, so it makes a very annoying.....rattle. It's so loud, that I have to turn my car off when I'm at a drive thru window. Oh and the window. The driver side window rolls down.....but won't roll up. It will roll up with one hand on the up switch and the other grabbing the window and pulling it up with my non-muscles. This usually takes a few tries. So I look pretty ridiculous trying to get my window to go up. One time at a border patrol check point, I was so stressed trying to think what I was going to do when I got there. Do I roll down the window? Just go down a crack so that he can hear me? Open the door? When it was my turn. I rolled down the window just a crack and explained my window gets stuck. "It gets stuck?" the BP agent asked. "Yes". He paused.....and then he let me pass. I'm SURE he thought I had something hidden in my door compartment.

I did get my dream car because I was having a mid-life crisis and Guess what?!? I feel like I'm back in High School with that crappy car and always has something wrong with it, but you don't care.....cause it's yours.

I just don't think it's going to make the two year mark, as most of my cars do.....it'll be lucky if it makes the year mark.

Tunes from my walkman

Many, Many Moons ago, I would go walking every morning. It was right after I graduated from high school. My little sister was doing high school in 3 years and had to go to summer school every summer. So right after she graduated from 8th grade, she began summer school at Kofa. I would drive her to school, then park at Smuckers park and walk two miles everyday. I remember a blonde girl would walk two miles as well, going the opposite direction, and I always thought I should say hi and maybe we could walk together, but I was too chicken.

Anyway. I loved to walk because I could listen to music on my walkman......oh yes, a walkman. I think it was the same walkman I got when I was in 6th grade that I got for christmas to play my new Whitney Houston, Baby Tonight, cassette. Yup....pretty sure.

I think I only had a couple of cassettes that were actually mine. I would alternate the Spice Girls and the Wallflowers, but The Wallflowers cassette was my favorite. In particular, the song, "The Only Difference." That song, I remember, had the perfect beat to walking to. The tempo and speed motivated me and I knew when that song came on, I would step it up a notch.

So....I have started walking once again. I loaded my IPOD with a lot of my favorite songs, but I made sure to load that same Wallflowers album. On Monday, I skipped thru a bunch a songs hoping to quickly find "The Only Difference." And then I found it! I was so excited. I stepped it up a notch, feeling motivated. Then...quickly.....I found the beat was too fast. I couldn't keep up. Soon, I'm panting.....side's hurting.....I'm beginning to limp from the pain in my foot.

The Only Difference?.......what a difference 13 years makes.

Here Goes.....

My family blog has been neglected for awhile. I do have lots to blog about and things I want to remember, but I just have no time!!!! And now that I'm off Facebook, I need a place where I can release my quickies into the world wide web. Besides, I really want my family blog to be about my family and this blog to be about me.....is that so wrong???

So my commitment is that I will blog on my family blog once a week, and here.....

whenever I feel like it!